The crazies come out tomorrow!

Yes, it is once again 3am and I'm still up.  This time with a very sick husband who has spent most of the night throwing up.  And why?  Because of the dang insurance company trying to decide how to classify the new drug Chris needs to save his life!
So what happens now?  Well first thing in the morning, crazy is coming out!  I will be on the phone first thing and will continue to be on the phone until he gets started on something.  Even if that means I have to put him in a wheel chair and bring him in until he gets started!  Seriously, its been 4 weeks since his last PET scan that shows the cancer is all over his body and he has not started anything yet!  This is fricking rediculous!  I'm watching my husband die and nobody will help him!!!!!!  Well, they ain't seen crazy yet, but I can guarantee they will be meeting her tomorrow!!!!  All I can do tonight is continue to pray that something can get done tomorrow!!!!!!

Just want to scream!

Its going to be hard, but I will try to keep my language as nice as possible in this post.  This has to be some of the biggest BS I have ever delt with!  While my husband is laying there dying, the insurance company is just taking their time trying to decide how to cover the dang medicine he needs.  I don't care how you cover it, or even it you cover it!  I will pay for it all out of my pocket but everyday they sit and wait on deciding, my husband's cancer spreads more in his body!  I'm glad they all have their health and sitting around making all their money.......but my husband is dying and you are sitting on your asses instead of giving him medicine to save his life!  I hate insurance companies!  I don't have anything nice to say anymore so I'm just going to end it now.

A hard question to answer!

Today as I was driving the kids home from their grandparents house, my oldest child (7 years old) asked me why everyone was always praying for Daddy.  I told her it was because of his cancer and it was making Daddy very sick.  She then asked me if Daddy was going to die.  This was the first time any of my kids have ever asked me this.  I've been dreading this question for as long as possible but I know its time to be realistic.  I told them that yes, cancer could make Daddy die but we are hoping to make him better.  I said that is why Daddy has to take all this medicine so hopefully he doesn't die.  Not sure if this is the time to be answering this question yet, but I know when he has less than a 20% chance of living three years I am going to have to start being honest with the kids.  I also told them that I think its a good idea to start going to the cancer classes they have for little kids who have parents that have cancer.  I told them I think it will help them to better understand what Daddy is going through. 
These are the times when I need more medication that I have!  I wish I could make their life into a fairy tale where we all live happily ever after forever!

Melanoma and tanning beds

This is an article I found from Dr. Oz's website.  I thought it was very interesting that tanning beds are now considered almost as dangerous as nicotine for causing cancer.  Very interesting stuff especially how us mothers really need to emphasize how bad tanning beds are to our daughters.
Here is the article....

It’s estimated that 1 in 5 Americans will be affected by some form of skin cancer during his or her lifetime, and exposure to ultraviolet (UV) rays is the most preventable risk factor. Easy steps like applying sunscreen, wearing sun-protective clothing and seeking shade all help to lessen your skin cancer risk. If I had done these simple things when I was a young outdoor athlete, I might not have developed multiple skin cancers.

Indoor tanning beds are another source of dangerous UV rays – using them has been shown to increase the likelihood of melanoma by 75%. Yet, more than one million people use tanning beds each day.

A survey by the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) of Caucasian women ages 14-22 found that almost a third (32%) had used a tanning bed in the past year. Respondents who had gone indoor tanning were more than twice as likely to have a family member who used a tanning bed. More specifically, those who used tanning beds were 4 times as likely to indicate that their mothers also use them when compared to non-indoor tanners.

Tanning beds are so unsafe that the AAD has called for banning their use, and groups like the World Health Organization and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services have placed them in the same cancer-causing category as tobacco. It is troubling to me, as a dermatologist, a skin cancer survivor, and a mother, to know that there are parents who allow their daughters to continue with these harmful behaviors and mothers who set a dangerous example themselves by continuing to use tanning beds.

It’s easy to understand why indoor tanning is so popular with teen girls: they are constantly barraged with images of celebrities and pop culture icons sporting tans, even though what Hollywood calls “a healthy glow” is anything but.

And of course, their friends also play a role: almost half of the indoor tanning respondents in the survey (49%) said they felt peer pressure to be tan.

As parents, we can push back, in the same way we talk to our kids about the dangers of drinking, smoking and drugs. Educating ourselves about the health risks of indoor tanning – and passing that knowledge on to our children will go a long way in the fight against skin cancer.

Donna Regen, a Dallas resident who lost her daughter, Jaime, to melanoma 4 years ago, agreed to be part of the AAD’s public service advertisement campaign against indoor tanning.

“Mothers who allow their daughters to tan are putting their daughters’ lives at risk,” says Donna. “No mother should have to visit her daughter in a cemetery.”

As much data as there is to make the case against indoor tanning, in the end, it’s setting a good example in the home and having those conversations between daughters and their moms, dads or caregivers that has the greatest impact. I believe passionately that one day this approach could save our daughters’ lives.

Rough times!

I would love to make this blog possitive and uplifting, but cancer is anything but that.  This is going to be a blog about the struggles of dealing with cancer.  It is 4am and I've been up for the last several hours crying.  The more I read about melanoma cancer the more it upsets me, but how else do I learn to keep my husband alive and fighting. 
I watch day after day as my strong husband lays in bed in pain and can't get up to do normal activities.  I constantly think about the fact that I will not have someone to grow old with, my daughter will not have a father to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day, that my boys will not have their daddy around to teach them to hunt and other boy things, that all of our dreams we have had may not come true.
Chris is my one and only soul mate!  We went on our first date when I was only 14 and he was 15.  We dated all through high school and most of college.  We did break up for a couple of years and both dated other people, but that is when I learned that Chris will always be the only man I will ever love.  Not a day has passed since I was 14 that I have not thought about him. 
I sleep maybe 4-5 hours a day and spend the rest of time crying because this is the only time I can without being a mess in front of Chris and the kids. 
Sorry, I got nothing uplifting today.  Maybe this is why I shouldn't blog in the middle of the night!

Now what?

So you learned a little about what we are battling, but where in the world do I start in this battle?  My guess would be an easy one, change our diet!  So I have been searching the best cancer fighting foods.  So far I have learned that a mostly plant based diet is the best way to go.  Guess our quarter cow of meat we just purchased will be getting donated :)
So far here is a start to the list of foods that I have found that are great cancer fighting foods:
     broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, carrots, kale, mushroom, seaweed, sweet potato, avocados, chili
     peppers, jalapenos, figs, grapefruit, grapes, oranges, lemons, papayas, raspberries, tomatoes, flax,
     nuts, garlic, rosemary, tapioca, tumeric, red wine, soy products, green and black tea.
Alright so this was only from one website, but I promise I will be looking into it a lot more.  Bare with me as I have a very sick husband and three small children to tend to so my free time tends to be very limited.

We've been given the bad news.......but now what?

My husband of 8 years was told in Jan. 2011 that he has stage 3 melanoma cancer.  After undergoing surgery and 4 weeks of interferon treatment we thought we were in the clear.  After discovering a large lump where lymph nodes had been removed in the first surgery, he had another surgery.  During this surgery it was discovered he had a baseball size tumor.  After a repeat PET scan we learned that the cancer had spread to additional lymph nodes and into his bones covering the rest of his body. 
Now we have the bad news that his cancer is in stage 4 and he has a 10% chance of living three years, what do we do?  The doctor suggests chemo and a new drug called ipilimumab.  This will double his chances of living three years to 21%.  Thats not good enough for me!  So we are going to do our own battle along with the drugs the doctor suggests.  This will be my journey to save my best friend who is also the father of my three young kids!  I'm hoping to learn a lot in this battle and perhaps help someone else who is also putting up a fight right now.